


When Angels Fall With Broken Wings

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Survivor Guilt, aftermath of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Clementine has to deal with yet another loss. Only this time, she doesn't know if she can. She just wants to give up.





	When Angels Fall With Broken Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Breaking Benjamin - "Angels Fall"

Clem stared out ahead of her, at the rubble and the dust. The walkers were long gone, left sometime during the night. But their groans, Clementine could still hear them. She could still hear the walkers snarling as they ripped her friend apart. She could still hear Sarah's agonized shrieks and cries for help, even though she was doomed first bite.

It was her fault. She could have, should have, jumped down to help. Pulled Sarah away from the monsters out to get her. But she didn't, and now Sarah was gone. Dead. And it was all her fault.

In a way, she's sort of relieved her friend is gone. Sarah isn't suffering anymore. She's not scared, cold, hungry. But that doesn't ease the pain in Clem's heart. It doesn't make her happy. It's sick. 

Sarah was her friend. She loved her. She missed her. And she didn't know what she'd do without her. She didn't have much left. Sure, she had Kenny and Luke. She loved them, too. They had always been tougher than Sarah, knew what they were doing. 

Sarah was a baby. She was 4 years older then Clementine yet acted like she was 4 years younger. She cried when things got tough, she didn't think, she was stupid. She wasn't cut out for this world. Deep down, when she first met the girl, Clementine knew she wouldn't make it. When she began to warm up to her, she tried to push her away. Tried to save herself from the inevitable. But it didn't work. 

She still found herself curled up against a tree with tears streaming down her cheeks. Wishing she could have done something, wishing her friend would have come back.

 _Wishing they could have been something more_.

All those times her heart sped up a beat when Sarah's eyes met hers, the way her breathing became excited and erratic, the way her body began to shake and tremble with... what was it? Excitement? Nervousness? Anticipation? None of it went unnoticed. As much as she wanted to deny it, Clementine knew she liked Sarah in a way she probably shouldn't have. 

But she wasn't stupid, either. Clem was young. She had hormones, and she knew what hormones were. She may have only been 9 when the world went to shit, but that didn't stop Christa from giving her lessons a year later. She knew it probably wasn't real. Just those stupid hormones raging. If it had happened, it would have ended one day anyway.

But she's still upset. Even if it wouldn't have lasted, she wants to have just one more chance with Sarah. She wants to run around and chase the girl til they both collapse with exhaustion. She wants Kenny and Luke to smile as they watch them. She wants Sarah to crawl into her bed at night if it's too cold or if she has nightmares. But that won't happen. Sarah's gone now, so all her fantasies should be, too.

Her fantasies were her life. Her imaginary family was her life. Sarah was her life. And where was Sarah now? Death. Which, as terrible as it was, gave Clementine an idea.

Clem reached down into the overgrown grass and grasped onto the cold metal of her gun. She took it into her arms and messed around with it, thinking.

Lee and Sarah?

Kenny and Luke?

She loves Kenny and Luke. She cares about them. But she loved Sarah in a way she could never love anyone else. And although she hates to admit it, she would take Lee over both Kenny and Luke any day.

She held up the gun and opened her mouth, but stopped when she heard a crunch behind her. She jumped to her feet and whirled around, sighing when she saw Kenny. "Clem?"

Clem's eyes darted to the ground, then back up. She tried to meet Kenny's, but her eyes betrayed her and went back down. She tried to hide the gun behind her back, but nothing got past Kenny. He stepped forward and reached behind her, taking the gun. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Only short, choking noises.

"Clem? Why?"

"I- umm..." Clem tried to form words. Tried to explain this awkward situation to Kenny. "I miss Sarah. I want to see her again." She hated how small her voice was, the way it squeaked and cracked. The hard, painful lump in her throat. She was so weak.

A tear rolled down Kenny's cheek. "Please don't, Clementine. Please."

She found comfort in Kenny's concern. It was like a slap to the face, bringing her back to reality. Just as she had realized what she almost done to herself, she began to blush furiously. She was so damn _stupid_. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Clem. Just please don't do that. You're all I have left. I don't have Katjaa anymore. I don't have Duck. I don't have Sarita. But I have you. And I love you. You're like a daughter to me."

"I love you, too. You're like a dad to me." That's what she said. What she didn't say was that two other people had once filled that role. Her real father and Lee. Both dead. It was like anyone who cared for her, who she cared for would meet their demise. Although Sarah wasn't exactly a father figure to her (ha), they had cared for each other. And Sarah had died as well. She couldn't let that happen to Kenny, too. She couldn't let that happen to Luke. Sudden movement snapped Clementine back to reality. She pushed the thoughts away, deep down into the depths of her mind. Where they belonged.

Kenny stepped forward and placed a punishing yet soft grip on Clem's shoulder. He crouched down to meet her eyes and opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and instead pulled Clementine into him, embracing her so tightly she could barely breathe. "I can't lose you, too."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I promise I won't do that again." She could feel Kenny shaking against her, body racking with silent sobs. "Can I have my gun back?"

Despite everything, Kenny chuckled. "Only if you promise to never do that to yourself again."

"I promise. And Kenny?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't tell anyone about what I did."

Kenny smiled. "Ok." He finally broke the hug and stood before handing Clem's gun back. He placed a hand on the little girl's back and led her back to the rest group. Clementine smiled.

Lee and Sarah would have to wait. She'd see them again one day. She'd just have to wait her turn.


End file.
